Making Shabbos Happen: Designing a Home Ritual Experience for Young Children Gratz Fall 2012 Dr. Lisa L. Vendeland
The sequence of ritual practice for a Home Shabbat I have chosen is preparing for Shabbat at Home. The ideal experience that I would like to design is for six (6) year old children. It is an age group that I think is somewhat challenging as they are at the brink of integrating reasoning with action and developing concepts of what is right or wrong. It’s not enough to simply tell them that, “this is what we do,” without saying, “this is why we do it.” It is during this developmental time that children begin to discover their, “core” and have the experiences that will lead them to experience their ultimate reality (lecture 1 slide 6).
Preparing for Shabbat at home is, in my opinion, the major component of the fundamental commandment (principle) of “Remembering” the Sabbath Day, (zakhor) and, “keeping it holy,” (Shamor). It is central to the Jewish Way of Life. Judaism 101 (web) states, “It is the most important ritual observance in Judaism.” Sabbath at home must be flexible yet recognizable and the outcome specific nature of preparation of the home, by its nature occurs in a specific time and space. It is easily reproducible in a home and for small children. It can easily be expanded as a child grows and is able to assume more responsibilities in the ritual. The predetermined actions are given meaning by others in addition to the family members doing the acts (Rappaport, 2005, pg 26.) I have chosen this experience because living a Jewish way of life is a daily experience and every day we are at home and can “use” our week to prepare for our Gift of Shabbat peace and joy. The, “awareness that there is something “OTHER”, something greater than the course of everyday events in our lives,(Elaine McCrery in Hay, 1998, pg 54- Lecture 1 slide 3), is an extremely important concept to teach children of all ages.
The three divisions of the ritual as I see it now will all be experiential and participatory: preparing the Home, the Self, and the Foods. For the Home preparation rituals :cleaning the house ( perhaps with a specific ritual in the spirit of the Hametz hunt prior to Pesach), setting a beautiful table, choosing flowers to highlight appreciation for the beauty in the world(for the sensory stimulation on several levels), candle selection and use of special candle holders will be expanded on. Preparation of the “self” for a six (6) year old will include apologies (developing interpersonal skills), Tzedakah (can be seasonal with or without acts of Mitzvot), and Mediations (elements of spirituality). Food preparation of special more elaborate foods will be participatory and can safely be done with adult supervision in a crock pot. A recipe for Cholent was picked for this purpose and will be included with the final paper. Cholent was specifically picked because of the aromatic nature of this dish cooking in the home is very integrative for children as well as adults for producing aromatically triggered memories later and the strongly recognized association with events, processes and rituals.
In addition to this final paper, documentation of the Ritual process has been done through contemporary technology: photos uploaded to the dropshot.com (free) website, dropshots.com/drvende and choose tab labeled MAKING SHABBOS. It is complete with a brief blogging component of our introduction of the new Ritual process in our home.
Planning When my research failed to yield any previously produced Home Shabbat Preparation Rituals, I reread the Jewish Lights, Shabbat book. Following the recommendations there and those I uncovered through a Chabad website , I set out to plan, structure and evaluate the following home Ritual sequence to be used in families with small children.
Original Proposed Ritual Sequence for Making Shabbos Happen:
Zakhor
Washing/Cleaning with Brachot
Cooking
Table Preparations
Apologies Made
Giving of Tzedakah
Helping Acts around the House (Mitzvot)
Engaging with Words of Torah
I have built what I believe to be a ritual that is from an everyday consciousness. It will hopefully move it’s participants toward a heightened state of individual awareness. My analysis of the proposed Home Shabbat preparation Ritual/ service format was accomplished utilizing the tool presented in Lecture ten of the Gratz College Course [J. Ed 40230- OL.] This was done to determine if the sequence was a good match for use with young children. The Ritual sequence is based on the foundational concept that kids like rules. The Commandments are, “the rules” that we live by. Commandment Four, Aseret Hadiberot, is the first talking point for the ritual presentation to children.
This will then be followed by a story of, “The Schmutzy family,” (Holiday House, 2012) as a segway into the presentation of the cognitive concept of the week actually leading up to the, “main event,” Shabbos. Learning material planned is inclusive of anything and everything that a family could do together to prepare. The physical activities next would include the preparation of the Home, Self (including making apologies) and Foods. Giving of Tzedakah (and learning the prayer recited with the act of giving,) and constructing helping acts around the house (Mitzvot.) The final cognitive component of Torah study of the weekly Parsha and learning a blessing for engaging with the words of Torah will be learned.
The reviewing of the Fourth Commandment provides the opportunity for the child to verbalize an understanding that Shabbos is for everyone and by each child and adult calling to mind its importance the connection to, “remembering” to follow the rule will be reinforced weekly over time. Preceded by listening to a story about the Shabbos, the story can serve as a stimulus for talking interactions and hopefully move children into engaging with the ritual experience. Thereby allowing them to prepare for joining with the family group in the preparation rituals. While the Ritual Service format planned for “preparation” of the home seems overwhelming at first glance, I think that the cleaning, washing of the self and preparing of the foods are acts of everyday life, so really the addition of giving Tzedakah, performing Mitzvot and learning a Parsha, (with a prayer) would not be too overwhelming.
The three intended Brachot that are included in the ritual can easily be modified, or truncated for use with younger children, then “grow” with them into adulthood. They are Authentic Jewish Structures. G-d is introduced from the beginning within the full text of the Commandment itself. There are incredible opportunities within the proposed ritual sequence for kids to plan the procedures to accomplish the ritual preparation of the home and it, (the sequence) is flexible enough to bend to the needs of a modern, growing family, but still be recognizable as an intact experience. In homes without a vast Jewish knowledge base the ritual sequence can still be used since the preparation for a special guest is a concept most families are already familiar with so it will be more approachable and viewed with less apprehension. There are smooth transitions in the flow of physical activities of the preparation leading up to Erev Shabbat. The movement, physical and cognitive activities will prevent boredom from setting in as well.
The finite ending point of the preparation sequence is obvious: Candle lighting time. I initially struggled with a firm starting point to start the ritual as I imagined it. In the final analysis I chose: “Zakhor”;
Zakhor et Yom ha Shabbat lekadesho.
Remember the Sabbath day for Holiness.
This will help the child focus on something in the present. We want as a family “to call to mind,” the upcoming Shabbat (and reinforce) that it is the climactic day of the week (Parsons, 2011 ).The final point of ponderance in the analysis of the Ritual Sequence was, “is it short enough to maintain a child’s attention span comfortably?”
The answer even after two trial runs of observation during the planning phases of the project is, “it depends!” If each day of the week is a day spent on a different component of preparation, then probably. For instance, table cloths can be pressed if need be on Monday and then put aside; the dining room table can be set on Thursday, Guests invited earlier in the week, foods prepared ahead (like Cholent), Tzedakah planned for the upcoming week maybe as soon as after the passing weeks’ Havdallah, etc. Then yes, because then the core components alone are left for Friday morning or noon time.
For much younger kids who go to a half day preschool, lunch and nap can precede Bathing (with a Bracha) and bed making with clean sheets.
I think that the Home Preparation ritual sequence includes the necessary elements for success. For families with older children the “sequence” can either be truncated or expanded easily depending on lifestyle and special circumstances of the particular week.
First Observation For the first Observation experience and trial of the Ritual sequence I planned four possible key experiences: Learning why, a Language and literacy event, possible introductions of four Brachot and use of Shabbat related manipulatives. The introduction of the “Zakhor Prayer,” as it will be referred to in this paper would be followed by discussions about how someone has to, “make Shabbos”. The success of “coordinating the small details (Wolfson, 2004, p.180).”is the basis for the, “physical making (preparing for) Shabbat that is the foundation on which we create Shabbat (Wolfson, 2004, p180). “ Everybody enjoys Shabbat, don’t you?”, “yes Mommy”, replied my Daughter Logan. “Well it doesn’t make itself!” “So let’s get going!” “This week we are going to make a big Shabbos dinner.” Logan wanted to know if we could invite her favorite Aunt and Uncle and their son.
Next we discussed Commandment Four and talked about remembering important things. We also talked about how important it is to follow rules. Logan acknowledged that following rules kept people out of trouble and safe. For the language and literacy event I chose a book our family received from the PJ Library, The Schmutzy Family, by Madelyn Rosenberg. We found the story funny and dirty! A discussion ensued regarding cleaning up and walking to Shul and the prohibition of certain types of work on the Sabbath. We then planned how we were going to prepare for Shabbos at our house.
With the introduction of the possible Brachot I had planned to introduce I was the recipient of a lot of eye rolling and whining, (but hey my Daughter has just turned 6!) My favorite response was, “That’s like a hundred million things to say…!” We talked about prayers for washing, giving Tzedakah, performing Mitzvot and engaging with words of Torah. We washed up (without a Bracha), put on aprons and got to work.
For the planned manipulatives I chose a new table cloth (as this was the start of a new Ritual in our home,) challah cover, candle sticks and holders, Kiddush cup, Tzedakah boxes and food prep items. My Daughter also wanted to help prepare the Cholent (recipe at the conclusion of the paper; we did add fresh tomatoes from our garden and mushrooms also and it was delicious!) since she likes helping in the kitchen. She thought that the food tasted good. While she was stirring, she spontaneously began to chant, “boil, boil, toil and trouble!” I honestly laughed so hard I thought I would break a rib!
After an exhausting almost five hours I sat back to reflect and interpret the process. The multiple Brachot in addition to the, “Zakhor Prayer,” may be too much for a 6 year old to participate with initially. Perhaps built up to over a whole year, or taking out the Tzedakah and/or Mitzvot prayers for little pray-ers would work better I thought. Zakhor, washing and engaging with words of Torah might be a better start. Alternatively, Zakhor, Mitzvot (helping acts- kids can relate to the concept of “helping hands” well), and words of Torah should be tried in the second observation experience.
The following Bracha were finally selected:
ZAKHOR
Zakhor et Yom hashabbat lekadesho.
Remember the Sabbath day for Holiness.
For Helping Acts (MITZVOT) and Tzedakah
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam
Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’zivanu lirdof tzedek.
Blessed are you, Eternal our G-d, Sovereign of the Universe; you hallow us with your Mitzvot and command us to pursue justice.
(Chosen because it is an expandable prayer that can grow with a child.)
For Engaging with words of Torah
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,
Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la’asok b’divrei Torah.
Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the World,
Who has sanctified us with your commandments and commanded us
To engage in the words of the Torah.
Second Observation So, after a week of reflection we tried again. In the second Observation experience I realized the time of the preparation ritual needed to be shortened because of my Child’s attention span. I decided to try the sequencing of Zakhor, The “Washing” prayer, a Tzedakah prayer and finally the prayer for engaging with words of Torah. I felt that these four “prayers” could form a spine for establishing a grow-with-us ritual sequence. After this Observation I revised this spine to the final do-able sequence of: Zakhor, Mitzvot/ Tzedakah and Engaging with words of Torah.
As I introduced the concept of “getting ready for Shabbos” again, I could sense my Daughter’s hesitation. She inquired and squirmed, “again” with an eye roll! I replied, “every week, but not as much for us to do this week. Mommy went a bit overboard last week, right?”, “right!” We had a short conversation about the “order of the service is,” Zakhor, the “bath prayer” (“ok, no washing prayer Logan”), “The Tzedakah prayer,” we put coins in after the prayer right?” “right!” “we do this act after the prayer.” Torah words are last: “what is engaging?”, “it means to be part of something.” And off we went.
Final Reflections My reflections on the second participation are both practical and didactic. The Brachot lead to an ongoing and expanding understanding of the preparation process for kids. As the concept is incorporated into the child’s Ritual routine weekly, there seems to be a dynamic evolving process occurring. This enhanced understanding is then coupled with a more present and active level of participation and excitement when the Ritual sequence is introduced. Over time, familiarity, comfort and enjoyment while performing the sequence will reinforce it’s continued use.
When presenting the core sequence of the Ritual to Parents I would suggest keeping to the core Ritual sequence at the beginning, allowing the child (ren) to help as much or as little as they would like to, practice the Brachot on other days during similar or appropriate activities and finally expand the sequence as the family gains comfort with it. This will be easy to do since there are many excellent resources on-line relating to Home Shabbatot.
References: 1. Chabad Website
2. Chabad.org/Shabbat. Pre-Shabbat Checklist
3. Harlow, Rabbi Jules. Pray Tell. Hadassah Guide to Jewish Prayer. Jewish Lights, Vermont, 2003.
4. Parsons, John J. Hebrew for Christians, The Jewish Shabbat, 2011. [email protected]
5. Rich, Tracey. Recipe for Cholent, online search, 2011.
6. Rosenberg, Madelyn. The Schmutzy Family, Holiday House/New York, 2012.
7. URJ.org. “Got Shabbat Parsha Library”. Union for Reform Judaism
8. URJ.org. Ner Shel Tzedakah Program Guide. 2012
9. URJ.org. The Jewish Parent Page (Sukkot and Simchat Torah) Vol.9, No 2.
10. Wolfson, Ron. Making Shabbos, Spirituality Handbook, Jewish Lights, Vermont, 2004
Recipe for Cholent Cholent is a traditional Shabbat dish, because it is designed to be cooked very slowly. It can be started before Shabbat and is ready to eat for lunch the next day. The name “cholent” supposedly comes from the French words “chaud lent” meaning “hot slow.” If French seems like a strange source for the name of a traditional Jewish dish, keep in mind that many of the ancestors of Ashkenazic Jews traveled from Israel to Germany and Russia by way of France.
· 2 pounds fatty meat (I use stewing beef, but brisket is more common)
· 2 cups dry beans (navy beans, great northern beans, pintos, limas are typical choices).
· 1 cup barley
· 6 medium potatoes
· 2 medium onions
· 2 tablespoons flour
· 3 tablespoons oil
· garlic, pepper and paprika to taste
· water to cover
Soak the beans and barley until they are thoroughly softened. Sprinkle the flour and spices on the meat and brown it lightly in the oil. Cut up the potatoes into large chunks. Slice the onions. Put everything into a Dutch oven and cover with water. Bring to a boil on the stove top, and then put in the oven at 250 degrees before Shabbat begins. Check it in the morning, to make sure there is enough water to keep it from burning but not enough to make it soggy. Other than that, leave it alone. By lunch time Shabbat afternoon, it is ready to eat.
This also works very well in a crock pot on the low setting, but be careful not to put in too much water!
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The sequence of ritual practice for a Home Shabbat I have chosen is preparing for Shabbat at Home. The ideal experience that I would like to design is for six (6) year old children. It is an age group that I think is somewhat challenging as they are at the brink of integrating reasoning with action and developing concepts of what is right or wrong. It’s not enough to simply tell them that, “this is what we do,” without saying, “this is why we do it.” It is during this developmental time that children begin to discover their, “core” and have the experiences that will lead them to experience their ultimate reality (lecture 1 slide 6).
Preparing for Shabbat at home is, in my opinion, the major component of the fundamental commandment (principle) of “Remembering” the Sabbath Day, (zakhor) and, “keeping it holy,” (Shamor). It is central to the Jewish Way of Life. Judaism 101 (web) states, “It is the most important ritual observance in Judaism.” Sabbath at home must be flexible yet recognizable and the outcome specific nature of preparation of the home, by its nature occurs in a specific time and space. It is easily reproducible in a home and for small children. It can easily be expanded as a child grows and is able to assume more responsibilities in the ritual. The predetermined actions are given meaning by others in addition to the family members doing the acts (Rappaport, 2005, pg 26.) I have chosen this experience because living a Jewish way of life is a daily experience and every day we are at home and can “use” our week to prepare for our Gift of Shabbat peace and joy. The, “awareness that there is something “OTHER”, something greater than the course of everyday events in our lives,(Elaine McCrery in Hay, 1998, pg 54- Lecture 1 slide 3), is an extremely important concept to teach children of all ages.
The three divisions of the ritual as I see it now will all be experiential and participatory: preparing the Home, the Self, and the Foods. For the Home preparation rituals :cleaning the house ( perhaps with a specific ritual in the spirit of the Hametz hunt prior to Pesach), setting a beautiful table, choosing flowers to highlight appreciation for the beauty in the world(for the sensory stimulation on several levels), candle selection and use of special candle holders will be expanded on. Preparation of the “self” for a six (6) year old will include apologies (developing interpersonal skills), Tzedakah (can be seasonal with or without acts of Mitzvot), and Mediations (elements of spirituality). Food preparation of special more elaborate foods will be participatory and can safely be done with adult supervision in a crock pot. A recipe for Cholent was picked for this purpose and will be included with the final paper. Cholent was specifically picked because of the aromatic nature of this dish cooking in the home is very integrative for children as well as adults for producing aromatically triggered memories later and the strongly recognized association with events, processes and rituals.
In addition to this final paper, documentation of the Ritual process has been done through contemporary technology: photos uploaded to the dropshot.com (free) website, dropshots.com/drvende and choose tab labeled MAKING SHABBOS. It is complete with a brief blogging component of our introduction of the new Ritual process in our home.
Planning When my research failed to yield any previously produced Home Shabbat Preparation Rituals, I reread the Jewish Lights, Shabbat book. Following the recommendations there and those I uncovered through a Chabad website , I set out to plan, structure and evaluate the following home Ritual sequence to be used in families with small children.
Original Proposed Ritual Sequence for Making Shabbos Happen:
Zakhor
Washing/Cleaning with Brachot
Cooking
Table Preparations
Apologies Made
Giving of Tzedakah
Helping Acts around the House (Mitzvot)
Engaging with Words of Torah
I have built what I believe to be a ritual that is from an everyday consciousness. It will hopefully move it’s participants toward a heightened state of individual awareness. My analysis of the proposed Home Shabbat preparation Ritual/ service format was accomplished utilizing the tool presented in Lecture ten of the Gratz College Course [J. Ed 40230- OL.] This was done to determine if the sequence was a good match for use with young children. The Ritual sequence is based on the foundational concept that kids like rules. The Commandments are, “the rules” that we live by. Commandment Four, Aseret Hadiberot, is the first talking point for the ritual presentation to children.
This will then be followed by a story of, “The Schmutzy family,” (Holiday House, 2012) as a segway into the presentation of the cognitive concept of the week actually leading up to the, “main event,” Shabbos. Learning material planned is inclusive of anything and everything that a family could do together to prepare. The physical activities next would include the preparation of the Home, Self (including making apologies) and Foods. Giving of Tzedakah (and learning the prayer recited with the act of giving,) and constructing helping acts around the house (Mitzvot.) The final cognitive component of Torah study of the weekly Parsha and learning a blessing for engaging with the words of Torah will be learned.
The reviewing of the Fourth Commandment provides the opportunity for the child to verbalize an understanding that Shabbos is for everyone and by each child and adult calling to mind its importance the connection to, “remembering” to follow the rule will be reinforced weekly over time. Preceded by listening to a story about the Shabbos, the story can serve as a stimulus for talking interactions and hopefully move children into engaging with the ritual experience. Thereby allowing them to prepare for joining with the family group in the preparation rituals. While the Ritual Service format planned for “preparation” of the home seems overwhelming at first glance, I think that the cleaning, washing of the self and preparing of the foods are acts of everyday life, so really the addition of giving Tzedakah, performing Mitzvot and learning a Parsha, (with a prayer) would not be too overwhelming.
The three intended Brachot that are included in the ritual can easily be modified, or truncated for use with younger children, then “grow” with them into adulthood. They are Authentic Jewish Structures. G-d is introduced from the beginning within the full text of the Commandment itself. There are incredible opportunities within the proposed ritual sequence for kids to plan the procedures to accomplish the ritual preparation of the home and it, (the sequence) is flexible enough to bend to the needs of a modern, growing family, but still be recognizable as an intact experience. In homes without a vast Jewish knowledge base the ritual sequence can still be used since the preparation for a special guest is a concept most families are already familiar with so it will be more approachable and viewed with less apprehension. There are smooth transitions in the flow of physical activities of the preparation leading up to Erev Shabbat. The movement, physical and cognitive activities will prevent boredom from setting in as well.
The finite ending point of the preparation sequence is obvious: Candle lighting time. I initially struggled with a firm starting point to start the ritual as I imagined it. In the final analysis I chose: “Zakhor”;
Zakhor et Yom ha Shabbat lekadesho.
Remember the Sabbath day for Holiness.
This will help the child focus on something in the present. We want as a family “to call to mind,” the upcoming Shabbat (and reinforce) that it is the climactic day of the week (Parsons, 2011 ).The final point of ponderance in the analysis of the Ritual Sequence was, “is it short enough to maintain a child’s attention span comfortably?”
The answer even after two trial runs of observation during the planning phases of the project is, “it depends!” If each day of the week is a day spent on a different component of preparation, then probably. For instance, table cloths can be pressed if need be on Monday and then put aside; the dining room table can be set on Thursday, Guests invited earlier in the week, foods prepared ahead (like Cholent), Tzedakah planned for the upcoming week maybe as soon as after the passing weeks’ Havdallah, etc. Then yes, because then the core components alone are left for Friday morning or noon time.
For much younger kids who go to a half day preschool, lunch and nap can precede Bathing (with a Bracha) and bed making with clean sheets.
I think that the Home Preparation ritual sequence includes the necessary elements for success. For families with older children the “sequence” can either be truncated or expanded easily depending on lifestyle and special circumstances of the particular week.
First Observation For the first Observation experience and trial of the Ritual sequence I planned four possible key experiences: Learning why, a Language and literacy event, possible introductions of four Brachot and use of Shabbat related manipulatives. The introduction of the “Zakhor Prayer,” as it will be referred to in this paper would be followed by discussions about how someone has to, “make Shabbos”. The success of “coordinating the small details (Wolfson, 2004, p.180).”is the basis for the, “physical making (preparing for) Shabbat that is the foundation on which we create Shabbat (Wolfson, 2004, p180). “ Everybody enjoys Shabbat, don’t you?”, “yes Mommy”, replied my Daughter Logan. “Well it doesn’t make itself!” “So let’s get going!” “This week we are going to make a big Shabbos dinner.” Logan wanted to know if we could invite her favorite Aunt and Uncle and their son.
Next we discussed Commandment Four and talked about remembering important things. We also talked about how important it is to follow rules. Logan acknowledged that following rules kept people out of trouble and safe. For the language and literacy event I chose a book our family received from the PJ Library, The Schmutzy Family, by Madelyn Rosenberg. We found the story funny and dirty! A discussion ensued regarding cleaning up and walking to Shul and the prohibition of certain types of work on the Sabbath. We then planned how we were going to prepare for Shabbos at our house.
With the introduction of the possible Brachot I had planned to introduce I was the recipient of a lot of eye rolling and whining, (but hey my Daughter has just turned 6!) My favorite response was, “That’s like a hundred million things to say…!” We talked about prayers for washing, giving Tzedakah, performing Mitzvot and engaging with words of Torah. We washed up (without a Bracha), put on aprons and got to work.
For the planned manipulatives I chose a new table cloth (as this was the start of a new Ritual in our home,) challah cover, candle sticks and holders, Kiddush cup, Tzedakah boxes and food prep items. My Daughter also wanted to help prepare the Cholent (recipe at the conclusion of the paper; we did add fresh tomatoes from our garden and mushrooms also and it was delicious!) since she likes helping in the kitchen. She thought that the food tasted good. While she was stirring, she spontaneously began to chant, “boil, boil, toil and trouble!” I honestly laughed so hard I thought I would break a rib!
After an exhausting almost five hours I sat back to reflect and interpret the process. The multiple Brachot in addition to the, “Zakhor Prayer,” may be too much for a 6 year old to participate with initially. Perhaps built up to over a whole year, or taking out the Tzedakah and/or Mitzvot prayers for little pray-ers would work better I thought. Zakhor, washing and engaging with words of Torah might be a better start. Alternatively, Zakhor, Mitzvot (helping acts- kids can relate to the concept of “helping hands” well), and words of Torah should be tried in the second observation experience.
The following Bracha were finally selected:
ZAKHOR
Zakhor et Yom hashabbat lekadesho.
Remember the Sabbath day for Holiness.
For Helping Acts (MITZVOT) and Tzedakah
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam
Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’zivanu lirdof tzedek.
Blessed are you, Eternal our G-d, Sovereign of the Universe; you hallow us with your Mitzvot and command us to pursue justice.
(Chosen because it is an expandable prayer that can grow with a child.)
For Engaging with words of Torah
Baruch Atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,
Asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tzivanu la’asok b’divrei Torah.
Blessed are you, Adonai our G-d, Ruler of the World,
Who has sanctified us with your commandments and commanded us
To engage in the words of the Torah.
Second Observation So, after a week of reflection we tried again. In the second Observation experience I realized the time of the preparation ritual needed to be shortened because of my Child’s attention span. I decided to try the sequencing of Zakhor, The “Washing” prayer, a Tzedakah prayer and finally the prayer for engaging with words of Torah. I felt that these four “prayers” could form a spine for establishing a grow-with-us ritual sequence. After this Observation I revised this spine to the final do-able sequence of: Zakhor, Mitzvot/ Tzedakah and Engaging with words of Torah.
As I introduced the concept of “getting ready for Shabbos” again, I could sense my Daughter’s hesitation. She inquired and squirmed, “again” with an eye roll! I replied, “every week, but not as much for us to do this week. Mommy went a bit overboard last week, right?”, “right!” We had a short conversation about the “order of the service is,” Zakhor, the “bath prayer” (“ok, no washing prayer Logan”), “The Tzedakah prayer,” we put coins in after the prayer right?” “right!” “we do this act after the prayer.” Torah words are last: “what is engaging?”, “it means to be part of something.” And off we went.
Final Reflections My reflections on the second participation are both practical and didactic. The Brachot lead to an ongoing and expanding understanding of the preparation process for kids. As the concept is incorporated into the child’s Ritual routine weekly, there seems to be a dynamic evolving process occurring. This enhanced understanding is then coupled with a more present and active level of participation and excitement when the Ritual sequence is introduced. Over time, familiarity, comfort and enjoyment while performing the sequence will reinforce it’s continued use.
When presenting the core sequence of the Ritual to Parents I would suggest keeping to the core Ritual sequence at the beginning, allowing the child (ren) to help as much or as little as they would like to, practice the Brachot on other days during similar or appropriate activities and finally expand the sequence as the family gains comfort with it. This will be easy to do since there are many excellent resources on-line relating to Home Shabbatot.
References: 1. Chabad Website
2. Chabad.org/Shabbat. Pre-Shabbat Checklist
3. Harlow, Rabbi Jules. Pray Tell. Hadassah Guide to Jewish Prayer. Jewish Lights, Vermont, 2003.
4. Parsons, John J. Hebrew for Christians, The Jewish Shabbat, 2011. [email protected]
5. Rich, Tracey. Recipe for Cholent, online search, 2011.
6. Rosenberg, Madelyn. The Schmutzy Family, Holiday House/New York, 2012.
7. URJ.org. “Got Shabbat Parsha Library”. Union for Reform Judaism
8. URJ.org. Ner Shel Tzedakah Program Guide. 2012
9. URJ.org. The Jewish Parent Page (Sukkot and Simchat Torah) Vol.9, No 2.
10. Wolfson, Ron. Making Shabbos, Spirituality Handbook, Jewish Lights, Vermont, 2004
Recipe for Cholent Cholent is a traditional Shabbat dish, because it is designed to be cooked very slowly. It can be started before Shabbat and is ready to eat for lunch the next day. The name “cholent” supposedly comes from the French words “chaud lent” meaning “hot slow.” If French seems like a strange source for the name of a traditional Jewish dish, keep in mind that many of the ancestors of Ashkenazic Jews traveled from Israel to Germany and Russia by way of France.
· 2 pounds fatty meat (I use stewing beef, but brisket is more common)
· 2 cups dry beans (navy beans, great northern beans, pintos, limas are typical choices).
· 1 cup barley
· 6 medium potatoes
· 2 medium onions
· 2 tablespoons flour
· 3 tablespoons oil
· garlic, pepper and paprika to taste
· water to cover
Soak the beans and barley until they are thoroughly softened. Sprinkle the flour and spices on the meat and brown it lightly in the oil. Cut up the potatoes into large chunks. Slice the onions. Put everything into a Dutch oven and cover with water. Bring to a boil on the stove top, and then put in the oven at 250 degrees before Shabbat begins. Check it in the morning, to make sure there is enough water to keep it from burning but not enough to make it soggy. Other than that, leave it alone. By lunch time Shabbat afternoon, it is ready to eat.
This also works very well in a crock pot on the low setting, but be careful not to put in too much water!
© Copyright 5756-5771 (1995-2011), Tracey R Rich
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